Bulletin Humor

Seen in actual church bulletins …..

• Fasting & Prayer Conference next Saturday; meals included.
• The Peacemakers meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
• Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
• This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
• The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

HT: TW

Prodigal Son #13

Anger

 

“But he (the older son) was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him.”
- Jesus, “The Parable of the Prodigal Son” (Luke 15:28)

Jesus describes how the older son has just found out that people are celebrating because his reprobate brother has returned home. In Jesus’ culture, any older son would be expected to high-tail it into the house and join the feast as quickly as possible. Instead, the older son stays outside, choosing to murmur about the apparent unfairness of his father’s actions. He deems the party unworthy of his attendance.

We’ve seen the way the father ran to his ragged son at the edge of the community, but what will he do for his puffed up and arrogant older son? Jesus tells us the father goes out to convince his son to come in. By leaving behind his guests, the father is again placing himself in the center of a potentially embarrassing act. Once the father is absent, the party stops. Everyone stands watching him court his older son, who is now displaying their broken relationship for all to see. The boy knows he’s humiliating his dad, but he doesn’t care. He’s become just as rebellious as the prodigal had been at the beginning of the story.

The loving father has two sons who have blocked his love in different ways. The younger has walled himself off from the Father’s love by doing evil, while the older has walled himself off from that same love by doing good. The older brother goes through the motions so he can gain rights in the household, not true membership in the family. His attitude has strayed far from the heart of the father he claims to serve! His younger brother, the outward rebel is inside feasting while he, the diligent one, stays outside pouting!

Which way have you walled yourself off from your heavenly Father? Could it be that the good you do has actually become a hindrance in your walk with God? Do you see your Christian life as the drudgery of a slave or the feast for a son?

written by Trevin Wax © 2007 Kingdom People blog

One-Issue Politics, One-Issue Marriage, and the Humane Society

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By John Piper January 1, 1995

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Investigating dog life in Minnesota has solidified my decision to vote against those who endorse the right to abortion. So then what is my response to the charge of being a one-issue voter?

No endorsement of any single issue qualifies a person to hold public office. Being pro-life does not make a person a good governor, mayor, or president. But there are numerous single issues that disqualify a person from public office. For example, any candidate who endorsed bribery as a form of government efficiency would be disqualified, no matter what his party or platform was. Or a person who endorsed corporate fraud (say under $50 million) would be disqualified no matter what else he endorsed. Or a person who said that no black people could hold office—on that single issue alone he would be unfit for office. Or a person who said that rape is only a misdemeanor—that single issue would end his political career. These examples could go on and on. Everybody knows a single issue that for them would disqualify a candidate for office.

It’s the same with marriage. No one quality makes a good wife or husband, but some qualities would make a person unacceptable. For example, back when I was thinking about getting married, not liking cats would not have disqualified a woman as my wife, but not liking people would. Drinking coffee would not, but drinking whiskey would. Kissing dogs wouldn’t, but kissing the mailman would. And so on. Being a single-issue fiancé does not mean that only one issue matters. It means that some issues may matter enough to break off the relationship.

So it is with politics. You have to decide what those issues are for you. What do you think disqualifies a person from holding public office? I believe that the endorsement of the right to kill unborn children disqualifies a person from any position of public office. It’s simply the same as saying that the endorsement of racism, fraud, or bribery would disqualify him—except that child-killing is more serious than those.

When we bought our dog at the Humane Society, I picked up a brochure on the laws of Minnesota concerning animals. Statute 343.2, subdivision 1 says, “No person shall . . . unjustifiably injure, maim, mutilate or kill any animal.” Subdivision 7 says, “No person shall willfully instigate or in any way further any act of cruelty to any animal.” The penalty: “A person who fails to comply with any provision of this section is guilty of a misdemeanor.”

Now this set me to pondering the rights of the unborn. An eight-week-old human fetus has a beating heart, an EKG, brain waves, thumb-sucking, pain sensitivity, finger-grasping, and genetic humanity, but under our present laws is not a human person with rights under the 14th Amendment, which says that “no state shall deprive any person of life . . . without due process of law.” Well, I wondered, if the unborn do not qualify as persons, it seems that they could at least qualify as animals, say a dog, or at least a cat. Could we not at least charge abortion clinics with cruelty to animals under Statute 343.2, subdivision 7? Why is it legal to “maim, mutilate and kill” a pain-sensitive unborn human being but not an animal?

These reflections have confirmed my conviction never to vote for a person who endorses such an evil—even if he could balance the budget tomorrow and end all taxation.

* * * This article is from A Godward Life, Book I: Savoring the Supremacy of God in All of Life by John Piper (Sisters, OR: Multnomah Publishers, 1997), pp. 279-280. Used with permission.

Prodigal Son #11

New Clothes

 

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate! For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.”
- Jesus, “The Parable of the Prodigal Son” (Luke 15:22-24)

The father, in Jesus’ story, does more than simply accept back his son. With probably the entire community watching the dramatic events, the father orders that a robe, shoes and a signet ring be brought out from the house.

The son has come from the pigs; thus he is smelly and gross. But, the father will not allow his son to walk down Main Street looking so horrid. He demands that robes be brought, as well as the ring that signifies sonship, so that the son will avoid any shame. The father bore the shame when he ran down the street. Now the son will go home, honored with the robe and shoes.

When God runs to us and we fall into His arms with open abandon and surrender, truly repentant, God does the same thing for each of us. He erases our past shame and guilt, putting aside our sinful actions. The past is past. The sins are buried. The shame has been borne by the One who suffered on the cross.

We are given new clothes – the ring of sonship, the robe of Christ’s righteousness! We can enter His house without shame because God is our Father. Jesus is our Savior and Lord. The Holy Spirit is our Guide.

Ephesians 2:13 says: “But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” God has brought us home from the far country! He has taken off our ragged filthy rags of sin and has replaced them with a new robe. We are transformed inside and out. The Holy Spirit comes to live inside us and continue the work that God began on the day we were found. When God saves us, our rags are replaced by robes.

written by Trevin Wax © 2007 Kingdom People blog

March Reading Plan

Mar 1: Num 14-15; Ps 90
Mar 2: Num 16-17
Mar 3: Num 18-20
Mar 4: Num 21-22
Mar 5: Num 23-25
Mar 6: Num 26-27
Mar 7: Num 28-30
Mar 8: Num 31-32
Mar 9: Num 33-34
Mar 10: Num 35-36
Mar 11: Deut 1-2
Mar 12: Deut 3-4
Mar 13: Deut 5-7
Mar 14: Deut 8-10
Mar 15: Deut 11-13
Mar 16: Deut 14-16
Mar 17: Deut 17-20
Mar 18: Deut 21-23
Mar 19: Deut 24-27
Mar 20: Deut 28-29
Mar 21: Deut 30-31
Mar 22: Deut 32-34; Ps 91
Mar 23: Josh 1-4
Mar 24: Josh 5-8
Mar 25: Josh 9-11
Mar 26: Josh 12-15
Mar 27: Josh 16-18
Mar 28: Josh 19-21
Mar 29: Josh 22-24
Mar 30: Jud 1-2
Mar 31: Jud 3-5

Prodigal Son #12

The Older Brother

 

“Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’”
- Jesus, “The Parable of the Prodigal Son” (Luke 15:25-27)

Jesus’ story about the father and two sons has followed closely the younger son’s journey into the far country and his subsequent return home. Now, Jesus turns the focus back to the older son, who has not been mentioned since the beginning of the parable. The family fortune had been split between him and his younger brother. By taking what was his and staying quiet, the older son had shirked his responsibility to be a bridge between his father and brother.

Although the older brother may be busy in the field, it will soon be evident that he also has a problem with his father. Once he hears the music and dancing, he asks a servant what is going on. The servant explains that everyone is celebrating because the father has received his younger son back in peace. He’s forgiven him. The celebration is for the father’s incredible display of grace, not because the prodigal has done something worthy of celebration.

Many people involved in God’s Kingdom work have a broken relationship with the Father. They see no cause for celebration when someone is accepted into the family, because they believe themselves to be the only people who have truly earned God’s favor.

Many believe that salvation is theirs because it’s their “due.” They do good works here on earth because they expect God to slaughter the fattened calf one day for them. But when they see God doing more for the seemingly less-deserving, their enthusiasm turns to bitterness.

When our attitude turns from “I’m not worthy to be called a child of God” to “I deserve better!”, it is a sign we are entangled in haughty estimations of spiritual self-worth. When we view God as a banker, issuing notes based on merit, we start to think He owes us something. It’s then we must repent and remember that God is our Father.

written by Trevin Wax © 2007 Kingdom People blog

America’s Changing Religious Landscape

The following article was written by Dr. Albert Mohler and published to his blog site on Tuesday, February 26, 2008. It is reproduced here in its entirety.

A massive new study of the American religious landscape reveals big changes and powerful trends shaping the future. The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life surveyed 35,000 Americans in one of the largest research projects yet undertaken.

The U.S. Religious Landscape Survey report is over 140 pages long, but the Pew Center for Research has provided a helpful summary. Among the major findings:

• Most Americans (78.4%) identify themselves as Christians of some sort. This Christian majority seems to be a settled fact for some time to come, with trends such as Hispanic immigration bolstering these numbers.
• America’s Protestant majority — a mainstay of American life from the colonial era to the present — is in decline and Protestant Christians will soon become a minority. The survey revealed that only 51.3% of Americans now identify as Protestants.
• Evangelicals are now the largest single group of American Christians (26.3%).
• Roman Catholics (23.9%) are the second-largest Christian grouping, though almost a third of those born into Catholic homes no longer consider themselves as Catholic. In all, almost 10% of all Americans are “former Catholics.”
• Mainline Protestant churches and denominations continue to lose membership and now represent only 18.1% of the population.
• Buddhists (0.7%) outnumber Muslims (0.6%).
• Mormons (1.7%) and Muslims report the largest families.
• Those identifying as “unaffiliated” represent a fast-growing segment of the population (16.1%), including atheists (1.6%), agnostics (2.4%) and “nothing in particular” (12.1%).
• At least 27% of families are interfaith to some extent. The percentage rises to 37% if spouses of different Protestant denominations are included.
• Among younger Americans (ages 18-29) almost a quarter claim no religious affiliation.
• The Midwest is the most representative region of the country, while Evangelicals are concentrated in the South.

Here is a particularly important section of the report:

More than one-quarter of American adults (28%) have left the faith in which they were raised in favor of another religion — or no religion at all. If change in affiliation from one type of Protestantism to another is included, roughly 44% of adults have either switched religious affiliation, moved from being unaffiliated with any religion to being affiliated with a particular faith, or dropped any connection to a specific religious tradition altogether.

The first wave of media reports pointed to this section of the report, while pointing to the larger issue of religious diversity and the growth of “nothing in particular” as a response. The “switching” phenomenon was a leading focus of the report summary, with Pew researchers arguing that “religious affiliation in the U.S. is both very diverse and extremely fluid.”

What are we to make of this? The report is a credible and extensive review of the American religious landscape. Taken as a whole, the data point to big changes on the horizon. The loss of a Protestant majority will lead to further adjustments in the cultural worldview. Clearly, America is more of a mission field than ever before.

There are some caveats about the research as well. These affiliations are self-reported, meaning that some of the individuals may have little affiliation, knowledge, or commitment behind these identifications. Nevertheless, that has always been a limitation on these surveys.

The issue of “switching” should attract a great deal of interest. In one sense, this is the inevitable product of religious liberty and religious diversity. But is also reveals that many Americans are looking for something they have not found in the tradition and affiliation of their childhood.

Even so, the research methodology probably understates this phenomenon. A member of a liberal Presbyterian church who switches to a conservative Presbyterian church is still a constant Presbyterian in the survey.

Evangelical Christians and churches should look at this report closely. There is a wealth of data here that helps to define the mission field we face in America. There are danger signs. Here are several points of concern:

• Our evangelism is not keeping pace with growth in the population. Evangelical churches are growing, but falling behind in the task of reaching Americans with the Gospel.
• We are losing many young people and many of those who switch from evangelical identity switch to “nothing in particular.”
• Evangelicals are accustomed to being part of a Protestant majority, but that majoritarian posture is about to be taken away (and already has been in some communities).

All this reminds us of the complexity of our context and the immensity of our challenge. We cannot look at this data with mere interest. These numbers represent real people who desperately need to hear the Gospel — and to see authentic Christianity made visible.

John Piper on “Prosperity Gospel”

“I Am All Yours” by Charles H. Spurgeon

Lord, help me to glorify you;
I am poor, help me to glorify you by contentment;
I am sick, help me to give you honor by patience;
I have talents, help me to extol you by spending them for you;
I have time, Lord, help me to redeem it, that I may serve you;

I have a heart to feel, Lord,
let that heart feel no love but yours,
and glow with no flame but affection for you;

I have a head to think,
Lord, help me to think of you and for you;

You have put me in this world for something, Lord,
show me what that is,
and help me to work out my life-purpose:

I cannot do much, but as the widow put in her two mites,
which were all her living,
so, Lord, I cast my time and eternity too into your treasury;

I am all yours;
take me, and enable me to glorify you now,
in all that I say, in all that I do, and with all that I have.

Charles Spurgeon

The New Atheism

David Aikman, a former senior correspondent for Time Magazine and now writer-in-resident and professor of history at Patrick Henry College, is the author of the forthcoming book, The Delusion of Disbelief: Why the New Atheism is a Threat to Your Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness, due out this April from Tyndale. I strongly encourage you to read the following essay written by Aikman. It runs 48 pages, but the font is fairly large and it only takes about 30 minutes to read.

WEAKNESSES OF THE NEW ATHEISM
By David Aikman, Ph.D.

In just two days some old codgers in Russia, China, Vietnam and maybe Cuba, will celebrate an anniversary that once resonated politically around the world. February 21, 2008 will be the one hundred sixtieth anniversary of the Communist Manifesto, a document that for more than a century thrilled the hearts of revolutionaries and made the chanceries of Europe tremble. “A spectre is haunting Europe,” that famous document written by Karl Marx and published in 1848, began. “It is the spectre of Communism.”

As we now know, of course, it is not the spectre of Communism that is haunting Europe, but the spectre of radical Islam. That, of course, is another story. Rather, a new generation of revolutionaries has arisen in the Anglo-Saxon world that hopes to become the new spectre haunting Americans and Britons. These are not political revolutionaries – at least most of them are not – so much as revolutionaries of philosophy. What they want to overthrow are not the crowned heads and bourgeois parliaments of our time but the institutions and traditions of society associated with religious faith. If they could, they would like to demolish all religious faith, but they have a modest initial goal: they want only to overthrow Christianity and Judaism.

Click the title of the article or click HERE to access the entire article. It is presented in a printable pdf file